Leadership: what does it mean to be a real leader?

“A real leader.” What is hidden behind this word that contains so many fantasies? Are there the leaders and the others? Or on the contrary, can we all become one? So what would be the qualities of a good leader? Legitimate questions as the place and status of the “leader” are put forward in our society. However, a leader is neither a character trait nor a function. Being a leader means showing leadership in certain situations, and above all, being capable of self-leadership.

Koh-Lanta. Almost all of us have watched this famous reality show one day; an adventure game in which twenty candidates have to survive on an island for about 40 days, through trials and elimination. Each first episode is marked by the constitution of the teams, and in particular the appointment of one or a captain for each of them.

“Do you have a leadership spirit? Can you lead your team to victory?” These are the questions asked by the presenter to the leaders of the newly formed tribes. To which some candidates respond: “It's going to be difficult, I don't like giving orders”, “I don't have a choice, I'm going to try to be an example”, “I'm going to do everything I can to make the best decisions for my team”.

Answers that are quite different but that perfectly illustrate our beliefs forged and anchored by our history. The leader must lead, be an example, make decisions for the common good of all. If we take Le Robert and Le Larousse, a leader is a “leader”, a “spokesperson”, “a person who is at the head” or even a “person who, within a group, takes most of the initiatives, leads the other members of the group, holds the command”.

The “philosophy” conveyed by this show seems transposable to our professional world: teams made up of men and women, led by one person. But is being a leader today really that?

What a leader is no longer

A leader does not know

First, let's get rid of the idea that a leader is someone who knows, who has the answer to everything. No, at least today a leader doesn't know. As our world is constantly changing, he cannot place himself or be considered by his peers as a “master of knowledge.” A leader is only an individual, evolving like everyone in an uncertain environment. No one can say or predict what will happen in the days, weeks, or years to come. As a leader, you can only attempt, create, or seize opportunities, and then measure whether the results live up to expectations. And that, by learning through his experiences. Faced with complexity, nothing is written.

A leader is not a protector

‍Nor is a leader a protector. This does not mean that he should not pay attention to the individuals in his organization, far from it. But this parent-child relationship, which was so rooted in our pre-Internet cultures, is now outdated. This vision of the person who is “above” and who has the knowledge is now only obsolete. A leader cannot protect his colleagues, he evolves in a confused world and does not know more than the others what tomorrow will bring. It is no longer up to the leader to protect, but for the people to protect themselves. When a bad decision is made, it is no longer the line manager who is at fault, but the person who made that decision. Some will regret it, but it is the price to pay for the autonomy of each and every one in their place of work.

A leader is not a decision maker

A leader is therefore not a protector who knows everything, and much less a decision maker. Just yesterday, he confused himself with the “boss”, an authority figure in a vertical and hierarchical world and whose role was to take all decisions. This is not the case at a time when the need for responsiveness requires a number of decisions to be taken at the operational level. Just as it is absurd to associate the concept of leader with that of “man of power”. The latter exists of course, it controls things in order to stabilize its areas of influence. He decides to establish his power, much more than to pull his “troops” in a given direction. On the contrary, a movement that a leader gives. Its role is above all to guide, without deciding everything or having the last word. He must of course have beliefs, but without being a weather vane, he must also be able to change his mind. Because once again, today, a leader does not know everything and is navigating, like everyone else, towards an uncertain future.

A leader is not an example

Finally, A leader is not an example. According to what criteria and according to what values should it be? Everyone has their own criteria and values, developed and based on their education and personal and professional experiences. For some, Donald Trump is an example. For others not, it is even the anti-example par excellence. In a team, a department, a team, the plurality of expectations means that there cannot be an exemplary leader for all. This position can also have a repulsive effect, leading to the famous reproach: “He is not setting an example”. All responsibility is thus falsely attributed to the leader.

‍So what is a leader?

If we take a step back, the leader as we imagine and draw him no longer exists. There can't be a leader on one side, leading the boat head-on, and the others. This belief, or rather this label that has been stuck for a long time, is now obsolete: Nobody can be a leader all the time. It is not a definite role or a label that you stick to someone Ad Vitam Aeternam. Not only does no one have the answers, but the current situations are also too complex for an individual to make all the decisions alone. The speed with which it is sometimes necessary to act means that everyone has their place in their framework of responsibility. It would then be more appropriate to talk about leadership here.

Demonstrating leadership means offering a vision that inspires and aspires at a given moment.

Above all, being a leader means showing leadership. And this leadership is above all situational. A person will show leadership in some situations, or conversely, let himself be carried away in others that will be less suitable for him, for reasons that are unique to him. Demonstrating leadership is also relational, it means being able to build a relationship of trust with others, creating a link to take them, with yourself, to a destination that is partly unknown. What works with one team won't work with another.

Taking away does not mean “We're going to go there, follow me.” But rather “We are going in that direction. Do you want to be a part of the trip?” It is giving a vision, moving towards something that inspires and aspires, without immediately knowing the port of arrival. A vision that is then based essentially on intuition, an essential factor in leadership.

In a standardized world where logic is praised as the surest way to decide, talking about intuition seems illusory. And yet, it is this intuition that infuses our ability to think freely, to be curious about everything, to be curious about the difference, to listen to our environment, to look for other impulses, other resources than logic, which, in turn, would have possibly restricted us. This freedom also means that we find more people capable of showing leadership in small structures than in large companies, where everyone has their place and their role to play. On the contrary, we have more managers and men of power than leaders in these gigantic structures.

As a result, leadership is being feminized. This intuitive intelligence, for which women have long been criticized, is now fundamental to this notion of leadership. Just like collective intelligence. Demonstrating leadership, of course, means defining a vision, driven by intuition, but it also means sharing the management of the journey by listening to others, by letting them take their place, all their place.

Leadership doesn't make sense without self-leadership

There is no longer a predefined label or role. Today, at certain times, in certain contexts, everyone can show leadership. But you still have to have the desire to carry your vision, and to feel capable of it. It is therefore a choice, a risk that we take. You cannot make this choice in a credible way without being consistent with yourself. No one can achieve their aspirations if they do not know each other.

‍The key to showing leadership is then being able to self-leadership. It is not a question of looking for answers outside, but — while listening to your environment — within yourself. Self-leadership means becoming aware of your role, your skills and your values. Because to be able to drive transformations, you must know how to take a step back, know what is important to you, and above all, feel how your intuition can meet the needs of your colleagues and collaborators.

So to the question of the Koh-Lanta presenter, it would have been more appropriate to ask: “Will you be able to show leadership in this adventure?”

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